I'm still here.
Today is my second full day in a new year of life.
I'm not sure what's becoming of my blog lately, but my brain still churns words...they spill out like mismatched socks from the laundry basket that Felix shoves down the hall with all his toddler strength, grunting and leaning into it with his whole weight, the way I need to do some days to make it through to the end.
Today isn't one of those hard days, though.
The children and I made it through grocery shopping for the week with good spirits intact (one twin-on-twin hair pulling in the checkout line resulted in an instant fistfight, but it was quickly deescalated into sniffles from the victim and angry squint-eye silence from the aggressor). This alone is almost a minor miracle, because grocery shopping with everyone in tow can be hard (and they were stocking inventory today, which meant extra difficulty driving the giant double-wide cart around the boxes and pallets in the center of the aisles).
We went to the library, where everyone almost remembered their library manners and library voices. Sam's long-awaited Mossflower was finally there (it's been on hold for over a week, which I'm sure has felt like a lifetime to him in his anxiety to read it, since he's re-read Redwall three times while he was waiting). We had leftover pasta salad for lunch, which is basically heaven and requires almost no cleanup (and the one person who wasn't thrilled about it didn't complain more than a little).
After lunch, people headed off to their rooms for naps/rest time without an issue (save the one girl who has to come out seven or eight times every single day under guise of needing to go to the bathroom again and tell me what's on her mind). When all was quiet, I went out to the garden, planted the delphinium and daylilly plants I rescued from the clearance rack at Wal-mart and transplanted two succulents to the little red colander (the thyme didn't really like it in there). I watered everything, noticed the lavender is blooming and rejoiced to see that some marjoram and chamomile have come up in the herb patch and that there are really happy cucumbers in the corner. The black raspberries are ripening and the coneflowers are in the early stages of going crazy and there's more mint than I know what to do with.
On my way back in, I had a text from my sister in Alaska. You've got mail. Heart leaping, I walked calmly like a grownup to the mailbox and peeked in. Sure enough, she'd sent me a birthday package.
I am so glad my sister still believes in sending people new CDs.
It's not that there haven't been struggles. There are always little things that go wrong, spill, get torn, or are stepped upon in someone's carelessness.
It's just that today, somehow, I have handled the inevitable ups and downs with grace and humor...and when I look around at the dishes in the sink and the spilled potting soil on the back deck and the unfolded laundry next to the unwashed laundry next to the unsorted laundry, I just feel like smiling because I can't believe that I get to be the person who gets to live this beautiful life.
Things are going to be okay after all.