Saturday, August 18, 2012

Dumb things people say to parents of twins (I wish I were kidding, but I'm not.)

 A short list of things that strangers might say to you if you are a mother of multiples:

1. You have your hands full.

2. Are they twins? (Yes.)
2a. Are they identical? (No.)
2b. Are you sure they're not identical? They look identical to me.

3. A boy and a girl? (No, two girls.)
   That one's a boy. (No, she's a girl.)
   No, I'm pretty sure it's a boy. (What??)

4. You know, you're not supposed to have them in litters. **

5. You have a boy and two girls? You're done, then.

6. Are they natural?

7. Do twins run in your family?

8. I know what you spend your time doing. (Again, what??)

9. Did you know you were having twins?

10. They're awfully small for twins.
10a. They're awfully big for twins.

11.  My nephew's neighbor's daughter's yoga teacher has twins.
11a. My sister-in-law's cousin had twins, and one of them died.

12. Do they have different personalities?
12a. Do they talk in a secret language?

13. I always wanted twins.
13a. I wish I had twins.
13b. Can you give me some tips on how to have twins?

14. It could be worse - you could have had three of them at once.

15. Just wait until they start crawling (or walking, or talking).

16. I had two babies 11 months apart. That's harder than twins. Be glad that didn't happen to you.

17. You are so blessed.

18. Better you than me.

19. I don't know how you do it.

20. Boy, you sure do have your hands full. (Worth repeating, since we hear it so often.)

** No kidding on number 4. Seriously. Someone said that to me.

I know people are just curious and want to make conversation, but sometimes I'd like a nicely printed little card I could just hand them that says something like, "Twins. Girls. Not Identical - Yes, we're sure. Thanks for your enlightening thoughts. Now Please Go Away and Stop Talking."

Someone sent me a link to the video below. When I first saw it, I was pregnant with our twin girls. I thought it was kind of funny then.

Once the babies arrived and I started taking them out places, it got much funnier.

Now, I can officially say I've heard almost all of these statements personally, and the video makes me laugh so hard I might wet my pants.

Of course, that could just be a side effect of having had twins. 

"I'm sorry, I just assumed we were now BFFs."

I love that part.

It's entirely possible that this isn't as funny as I think it is. If you don't find it particularly funny, it might be because you don't have twins (and therefore, your hands are not full enough).

Let me know if you want any tips on how to fix that.

Parents of multiples...anything I missed that you'd like to add? I know you've heard all of these before!