Friday, May 17, 2013

7 Quick Takes: The 4-year-old humor edition

It's finally Friday, which means I have survived another week of life with one of my biggest blessings: SuperSam.

This week's seven quick takes are dedicated to him and also to all parents of preschool-aged boys. May the force be with you, folks...especially the force that helps you keep your face straight when you know you shouldn't laugh at what he just said. If you're like me and you find preschool potty humor funny, then you are probably having a hard time not laughing at all the poop jokes.

I totally get that.

I even had a professor in college tell me I had the sense of humor of a four-year-old. I was mildly outraged at the time, but now that I live with my very own four-year-old, I have to admit that the professor was right.

A sampling of SuperSam humor follows. If these aren't funny to you, you probably have a sophisticated, adult sense of humor. That's wonderful. I'm not sure I will ever get there.

--- 1 ---
to Lucy, who is holding her baby doll- "Your doll is a robot! That doll is a baby-eating robot, and it's gonna get you! You better run, baby, run! RUN, LUCY!!" (Lucy dissolves in tears.)

--- 2 ---
"If dinosaurs pooped, it would be a giant rock of stinky poop as big as our house! No, as big as a mountain! I wish my toy dinosaurs could actually, really poop. Poop is AWESOME!"

--- 3 ---
"This dinosaur is gonna destroy the universe. Then I'm gonna be Astronaut SuperSam and I'm gonna save it. Universe-saving is actually my number one priority. And dinosaurs. Those two things."

--- 4 ---
while building with toothpicks and egg cartons- "Why even are these called toothpicks? Maybe there should just be a box of fingers that is labeled 'Nose Picks.'"

--- 5 ---

SuperSam does art:

"This is Nora eating herself and then spitting herself out."

--- 6 ---
(Holding a bathtub stacking cup toy with a hole in the bottom) "This little circle is just the right size for my penis to fit into it!"

--- 7 ---
And finally, a knock-knock joke, from a kid who wants desperately to understand how they work:

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Velvi who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana head?

If you made it this far and you're laughing, you are welcome to come babysit. I mean that.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!