Wednesday, April 20, 2016
On radio silence, life overwhelm, and dormant creativity
I sometimes think that consistency will elude me forever.
Is it impossible for me to blog properly and post at regular intervals? Probably not. Maybe I lack focus or am too undisciplined. Maybe I just have too many interests to plug away at one constantly. Maybe my time is too limited to justify pouring all my energy into one thing when there are so many things I could be doing.
Maybe I've just been struggling a little under the sadness of losing two of the most important people in my life so close together.
Whatever the reason, I haven't had the energy to write and publish here in a while. I'm grateful for those of you who checked on me to see if I was okay. I'm also grateful for those of you who will come back and read my words again now that they are starting to flow. Thank you.
The hardest thing about being a writer is that when one does not write, neither does one fully live. Although I sometimes don't feel like writing, the side effects are unpleasant. Without the lens of words helping me to make sense of my days and thoughts and feelings, things get jumbled up and are hard to untangle. I haven't found the words yet to write about my grandmother's death and the pain of having to miss her funeral. I expect those words might come. In the meantime, though, I need to be writing again...and I'd like to be sharing here with you.
To get things started, I'm joining in the #100daysproject. This project is an effort to do creative work for 100 days in a row. While I won't be publishing here for 100 days in a row, I am going to post a photo on Instagram and share some thoughts there with the hashtag #100daysofholylens. Photography as a spiritual discipline works for me as a way to remind myself that ordinary life is beautiful. Even when things feel pretty terrible, God is with us, and His fingerprints are everywhere. We only need to look for them in the tiny, beautiful, holy moments of our days.
If you want to join me, even if you can't post every day, you're welcome to share my hashtag so we can find each other.